I take great pride in my perverse imagination. I had planned to make yet another indecent proposal, installing a toilet at your desk at work. I am an older gentleman, and toilet matters are a major hassle. This idea is an elegant solution to a common problem. And even for time pressed businessmen and women, it is a priceless time saver! Just think of all that time wasted on the toilet? You’re sitting anyway, why not multitask? I like it! It appeals to my sense of order, as well as my perverse imagination. But as the above photo suggests, I am way behind the curve on this one. As a matter of fact, not only have many other people hit upon this idea, but I suspect it is already happening in office towers all across America. I just hope they have good ventilation! The photo above is by no means the only one. There are many photos, advertising the office toilet that is actually in the office. Not only that, there are even ads for a living room toilet. I kid you not. So just stick a fork in me, turn me over, I’m done! I can’t keep up with America’s perverse imagination. I am amazed! It’s toilet madness! There is a toilet subculture out there, who want to poop while blogging, talking on the phone, as they are relaxing in front of the big screen tv, or just chatting with friends. I am sure that my previous recommendation that we all go bottomless seems quaint, with a modest charm, compared with what is current in today’s sleek new culture…moving forward. Bowels that is. Do you think I am kidding? Check some of this stuff out.
All images credit Kohler
Yes, that is a toilet, sitting in the corner of Pierre Koenig’s Case Study House #22, in a reconstruction of perhaps the most famous architectural photograph ever, by the late Julius Shulman. I am excited by this new trend of putting toilets in the living room, where they can serve additional functions as a stool or end table, while providing the user with a dramatic view. But the toilet itself also has some terrific features worthy of note.
The above is from the Treehugger website at http://www.treehugger.com/bathroom-design/the-kohler-numi-the-perfect-toilet-for-your-living-room.html
Now I have examined this website, Treehugger, and it doesn’t appear to be a satirical humorous website. It’s about new developments in technology, which eliminate privacy altogether. How twenty-first century! Can you imagine the lovely couple above (and below) having a conversation over wine, when suddenly, “I’m dreadfully sorry! But I believe I need to take a bit of a dump!” “No problem, dear. There is a toilet right there. It’s top of the line, a Kohler Numi!” “Oh my! I hope I don’t spoil such a lovely toilet with my nasty poopy!” “Oh no! It’s self cleaning!” “Lovely” (the scene fades as we hear a series of grunts and heavy breathing). ARE THESE PEOPLE SERIOUS?!? A TOILET IN THE LIVING ROOM? C’mon people! The ad goes on!
First of all, the Kohler Numi a completely hands-free toilet. Motion detectors lift the top and the toilet seat if required, so that your hands never touch the lid
I have discussed how healthy and wonderful a shower toilet, or bidet attachment is, (I can’t live without my blue bidet) but the Numi does it one better by having a warm air dryer as well, so that it really does become a hands-free procedure.
Other marvelous features are a deodorizer that pulls air through a filter and a built in music system ( both a must for a living room installation), a heated seat (there might be a draft by those picture windows) and even floor level vents that warm your feet and the floor in front of you. And, it even glows in the dark. Of course it is dual flush, and meets all of the latest energy and water standards.
I have always said that if you are going to live with less, then you need to buy quality. If we are going to finally get rid of that space wasting bathroom and give the toilet the important place that it deserves in our lives instead of hiding it away in a closet, then the revolutionary Kohler Numi is cheap at $6,390.
A bowel movement with a view, yours for $6.390! I was amazed that out of about ten or so people who liked this post on Treehugger, not one had a comment. I have a comment for Kohler, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???. I think this is hilarious. Can you imagine a rich couple showing off their new Kohler Numi. “Hey! mind if I give it a spin?” “Sure go ahead!” I guess in today’s culture we share literally everything. But I guess I agree with Lloyd Alter, the bathroom designer quoted above, it is kind of exciting to have a toilet in your living room, in a perverse sort of way. Kudos to Kohler for another groundbreaking development in poopology! (Hey! I think that will be my comment.)
It doesn’t stop there folks!! This woman below has hit upon the ultimate convenience of combining her bathroom and office. Now I would suppose she doesn’t invite people in while ‘doing her business’, but still, it’s a little perverse. Don’t you think? Or am I an old fuddy-duddy? This photo is from http://overflowfrommyhead.blogspot.com/ You can find numerous photos of the blogger prancing about with a plunger. What is this poo poo fixation? Let’s see what other crap I can find. Ha Ha
People just seem to love the whole idea of bringing toilets out of the bathroom and more into their daily lives. There is the easy chair toilet, and even a stock photo of a toilet/workplace combo. You know what? I’m going to need to wrap up this post because all this toilet madness has gotten to me. I need to use the toilet!